“Communication to a relationship is like oxygen is to life. Without it, it dies.” – Tony A Gaskins Jr.

“The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.” – Peter Drucker

Every one of us has a communication style. We can be passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive.

We all have a unique style in the way we communicate. I know for the most part I am passive-aggressive and then there are times I am assertive.

In marriage, two people, two styles. I would venture to say that most of the time the styles change throughout the conversation.

So, then how do we effectively communicate? We need to learn how to listen. Listening is key to effective communication. Without truly listening, the message could be easily misunderstood. Stepping back and making a conscious choice and effort to listen can save many an argument.

The ability to listen, not just hear, is a game-changer. Also, how to learn how to be comfortable with silence in the conversation is important. This allows a space to process and to allow the other person to respond after careful thought. It is quite easy to constantly fill the gap with words that may not help the conversation. The silence in-between is respectful. It shows the other person that you respect their thoughts and answers.

It is not always easy but the more we are intentional about learning and trying, the better our conversations will be.

“When you interrupt, you’ve stopped listening. People need to be heard.” – Jerry Seinfeld

We all need to be valued, seen, and heard. My hope is that we all learn how to communicate, especially in marriages and families.

We can do this together.