“A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.” – Kate Stewart

When I read this quote I see a “perfect” marriage. Is there truly such a thing? I don’t think so but it seems to mean that when two “imperfect” people come together and do not give up then that can equal a perfect marriage.

There was a time in our marriage when giving up seemed like the way out. There have also been many debates about whether that would have been easier. So I ask, easier on who?

As I sit here and ponder while looking up, I see our family picture. I see us, our son and his new wife, and our oldest son with his wife and our grandchildren. My heart sees why we fought so hard to stay together. I look past the trauma and see a picture full of love and so many blessings. If one of us had walked away, this picture would not be hanging in my office to remind me that hard work can be so rewarding.

Saying that I also realize that it takes TWO imperfect people to want the same future. A future of family and memories. Also, to leave a legacy for our children and grandchildren. Sadly, there will be marriages where one will walk away for many reasons. It may be that the road forward has too many obstacles and cannot see past the hurts. I need to say that I do not condone abuse. If this is the case, please reach out for help and be safe.

The foundation of a marriage is so key. Take a look at a home where the foundation is built on faith. We were raised in a church setting. We learned about how we should build on the rock and not on sand. So when troubles would come, and they will, we would have a strong foundation. I know that this was so important in our marriage. Had we not had this foundation, I truly don’t know where we would be. I am just being real. I have had almost ten years to see how our faith has brought us to the point of where we are now.

We are not perfect but we are fighters. Fighters for the future. We are very diligent in communication and time together. We are also careful of what we let into our marriage. This was a promise we made after reconciling, to be very aware of what creeps in. Trust me, these days there are too many distractions that can take our focus away from our time.

If I would give one piece of advice it would be this; take time to sit, talk about your day, listen to your spouse and extend grace. We have done this faithfully for the past ten years and I cannot imagine what my day would be without it! Too many marriages are on coast and that saddens me. We are created for so much more, plus our children are always watching and learning from us.

"A good marriage isn't something you find, it's something you make, and you have to keep on making it."

What do your children see? What do you see? Deep down within us, we all want a healthy marriage and the best friendship. It is how we were created. We were created to desire healthy relationships.

As I coach couples (plus my husband has been helping and making a great assistant) we are seeing marriages come back from the brink and excited for a brighter future. If this is something you may need help with, please reach out.

We can do this together!