The Truth About Discipline

Physical discipline may well save them from death.  Prov 23:14

How disciplined are we when it comes to physical health, spiritual life, and our thought life?

Discipline is hard. It takes grit.  It takes moment to moment decisions.  Discipline can come in many ways. We all need to make daily decisions to work, workout, read the Word, pray, our thoughts, the food we eat, the money we spend, etc.  It’s endless. It also fights against our flesh and we need to submit. Easier said than done!!!!

I think it’s safe to say we need to have goals and a vision for the future.  We need to be still and really look at where we want to be today, tomorrow and five years from now.  When we have a vision we need to write it down. Habakkuk 2:2. I know from personal experience when a person has a goal it’s something to work for.

I used to be so disciplined in my workouts.  I was a competitive athlete and stage ready multiple of times.  The problem is it took me to a point of tragedy. In the midst of the quest of bettering ourselves, we need to search our hearts first.  Why are we striving for certain goals?

Search me, oh God, and know my heart.  Test me and know my anxious thoughts. Psalm 39:23

Self-definition is the set of someone’s characteristics such as personality and ability.  That is not physical and that person different from the other people.

God has created us all differently. We all have a unique self, our own characteristics, personality, and ability.  He has given us all a purpose to fulfill. One that we will answer for. But that takes time to find through prayer and discipline.

A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls. Prov 25:28

He has given us the fruits of the spirit.  Self-control is one.

As I study this topic more and more I know I need more discipline in my life.  As I watch and listen to our youngest son who is extremely disciplined in working out and diet I see the payoff.  I admire him and he inspires me to be better. Not just in the health department but also in my thought life.

To renew my mind daily to what is good and profitable.  To think positive on purpose. To be thankful even when discipline is hard.

We are overcomers.

We can do all things thru Christ who strengthens us.

We are created in His image.

We do not have because we do not ask.

Let’s together be bold in our discussions and discipline.  We don’t have to do this alone. Let’s encourage one another to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

We are a community.  We are a sisterhood.

Gentleness

I decided to take a course called “Hot Pursuit”. It’s a course designed to chase your dreams and passions.  I’m finding it quite interesting. The homework this past week was to interview two people, one close to 70 years old and one that is 20 years old.  I was truly amazed by their answers.

They both talked about pursuing education.  One woman already had her Masters and the younger one was in the midst of pursuing hers.  They had a fierce love for God and their faith is the foundation in their lives.  

One question was, “who has influenced you the most in your life?”  The younger woman explained that her mom was the most influential person in her life. It’s what she said that made me sit upright and take note.  She said “My mom was gentle, but we knew. Gentleness is power without volume.”  BAM!  That hit me like a ton of bricks but softened me to the point of tears.

Gentleness of the heart is a fruit of the Spirit.

“But the fruit produced by the Holy Spirit within you is divine love in all its varied expressions:

Joy that overflows,

Peace that subdues,

Patience that endures,

Kindness in action, 

A life full of virtue,

Faith that prevails,

Gentleness of the heart, and

Strength of spirit.

Never set the law above these qualities, for they are meant to be limitless.

Galatians 5:22-23 TPT

As a mom, I know I have used power with a lot of volume.  Now to think we have the gifts of the Holy Spirit running thru us and to use them constantly can make such an impact especially in a child’s life.

To become a person of influence we need to lead and to guide, but what does this look like? Certainly is not to push our agenda.  We need to add value to others. We need to truly listen, not waiting to reply or talk about ourselves, but to just listen. We need to be able to pray and answer with the Holy Spirit’s direction. This isn’t just for people we meet or we work with but also our children.

Knowledge is power.  Wisdom is power. Living a life constantly learning and growing will help us become women the world needs.  I know and have seen just shoving our opinions down someone’s throats will backfire, but loving answers turn away wrath. 

“My dearest brothers and sisters, take this to heart.  Be quick to listen, but slow to speak. And be slow to become angry.”

James 1:19 TPT

I challenge us all to be filled with the gifts of the Spirit and become a person of influence.  We can and will impact lives.

God Bless.

A Place of Hope

My name is Anita and I welcome you to this place of hope! 

Our marriage changed drastically in 2012.  We separated after my infidelity and we were not sure of our path forward. I had repented and wanted forgiveness. Through many hard days and nights, I knew I needed help. Counselling was a must for me to change the course of my life. For our marriage to even have the hope of restoration required a changed woman.

We reconciled after three weeks of separation, but hard work was needed to put the pieces back together. Happily, ever after? The journey to happiness and restoration is and was a process of communication, prayer, faith and forgiveness.  

Is there hope? A resounding yes!

Has your marriage gone through a tragic moment where you cannot seem to regain your footing? I can honestly say I feel with you. The feeling or thoughts of “how can we ever restore our marriage” can be so overwhelming. You are not alone my friends. I understand that your emotions are running on “how do we start? Where do we begin when everything is broken?”

My dear friends, here is what I do know. 

I know you feel despair, confusion, insecurity and are asking how will you ever trust again. What you want is peace. So, I ask this, what is stopping you? I would venture to say fear is undoubtedly the biggest reason why couples stay ‘stuck’ after trust has been broken. My heart feels for you and I completely understand.

My hope and prayer is this; that you find information, hope and a willingness to fight for your marriage here at The Fortified Wife. My passion is for marriages, families restored, and your faith to grow. Also, to be able to put people’s opinion aside (trust me, you will have many sittings in their lawn chairs on the sideline watching and waiting for failure or stumbling). You will also experience those who will support you and pray for you. These are the people you surround yourself with.

After seven years, we have a restore marriage.  We have so much support and we want to support you also. I have taken many classes, spent countless hours studying and writing. The Word has become my life, my truth. I pray the information, blogs and scripture here on The Fortified Wife will guide you to healing through our Father.

Blessings

Anita

Front Line

My children are the greatest gifts. When they were growing up, I watched over their

every move. I was a working stay at home mom and had the privilege of being there

every waking moment. Every booboo, every tear got a mommy kiss. All the crazy

moments of laughter, I got to be there. I was there at the end of the day when Hank would

walk in the door, ready to pull my hair out! I wouldn’t trade those days for anything.

As I walk through this part of life now, I have regrets that I didn’t have a personal

relationship with Jesus like I have now. To have been faithfully praying for my boys

would have been amazing. Despite this, I know in my heart that they have been trained

up right.

There is a season of my life I am not proud of at all. As a mom I hurt my children in the

worst way a mother could. I have been through the worst amount of guilt and shame. I

have asked them to forgive me and they have done so. After being someone who could

hurt their husband and their children that they professed to love so much, well let’s just

say I can’t imagine not fighting for this family.

Since 2012 I have been walking with God daily, renewing my commitments and

relationship with Him. My passion has been sparked for families. The enemy is out to

kill, steal and destroy the family unit. What are you doing to fight on the front lines for

them? We are on the battle grounds of spiritual warfare. Our duties as parents are to teach

our children the best things in life, the Word, the love of Jesus. We as parents are to bless

our children not discourage them. We sow into our children and watch them grow into

successful adults.

Are there children that stray onto paths that are difficult? Yes, but as the Word says,

Teach children how they should live, and they will remember it all their life. Prov

22:6

We trust the wisdom of God and have faith that they will come back to the training in

their lives.

My hearts desire is to see and teach parents, especially women, to fight for our children.

We need to be prepared for the spiritual battle that is happening in their lives right now.

The pressures our children and young adults are facing are frightful. The realities of

social media are heightening beyond measure. We look around and see our young people

(and older) buried in their phones. What example are we? We need to be communicating

with people. We need face to face communication. We need to get back to family dinners

where NO phones allowed. We need to be involved in their lives, expressing interest.

Our children need our unconditional love just as our Father loves us. When they do

wrong, we love them. Unconditionally!

We as parents need to fight the spiritual fight!! If we are not praying on our knees for our

children, then who is covering them?

The Woman with the Issue of Blood

The woman realized what had happened to her, so she came, trembling with fear, knelt at his feet, and told him the whole truth. Jesus said to her, “My daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your trouble.” Mark 5:33-34

We have all heard about the woman with the issue of blood in the Bible. She bled for 12 years, seeking medical help and spending all her money. As she continued to get worse, she heard about Jesus. She thought to herself, “If I just touch his clothes, I will get well.” Her faith is so amazing.

But here is what I heard about this woman from Steven Furtick. He said “It was her honesty that made her authentic.” Wow. She was completely honest with Jesus and this made her real. If I use my imagination I see this woman shaking, not knowing how to tell Jesus why she touched him. There were so many people around, the word says a crowd. His disciples were there also. Plus, the word says Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it, who had taken His power from him. Now think about this, you as a woman have been bleeding for 12 years and you decide to touch Jesus because you know you would be healed. Then you get caught! So you have to tell Jesus and the crowd about your issue.

My heart feels for her. BUT! She speaks honestly to Him. She tells him the whole truth, she is real with Jesus. I love this. It speaks volumes of who Jesus is. He is our healer, comforter, savior, and friend. Our friend!! We get to have conversations with Jesus anytime we want. We get to have conversations with Him about anything going on in our life. We get to praise Him and thank Him in the midst of everything going on. I believe He listens with a heart of compassion just waiting for us to “reach out and touch His clothes”.

Also, look at verse 34. Jesus says to the woman “my daughter”. Does this not make your heart leap?!? If you are like me at all, I get so excited about this story. My understanding of Jesus in this story alone makes me have incredible faith. We are His daughters.

My friends reach out and touch His garment. Be honest and authentic in your walk and conversations with Him. His gift of salvation is for all of us, all we need to do is accept it. We then can become His daughters and sit at His feet having the most intimate talks.

For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring with your faith that you are saved. Romans 10:10

Believe in your heart and declare your faith my friends. He is waiting for your honesty.

Blessings

Improve Yourself

John Maxwell wrote “You need to improve yourself. You’re not good enough to stay the

same.” Eureka moment! Think about yourself and where you’re at in life. Are you okay

with the same? We all need to continue to grow whether it’s mentally, physically, or

spiritually. We can decide to become better continually or stay stagnant.

“When you make yourself more valuable, you can give more value to others and increase

your relational capacity.” – John Maxwell

I believe we serve a God who is all about relationships. He is a God of love. Love

yourself, love others. It’s quite simple.

Now, if you have a hard time loving yourself, you will have a hard time loving others or

adding value to them. How can you secretly dislike yourself or others and then try to

build them up? You cannot. When I read this it hit me like a brick! We can easily hide

behind a mask of “everything is great” and love is abundant. But false sense of

relationships will not take you anywhere.

We need people around us to talk to, to serve, and add value to. As this happens they will

also build you up and help you go further. Who’s in your inner circle? Who can you talk

to that will truly listen, give instruction, help with your ideas or thoughts? If you want to

see who you will be in a few years just look at your friends. Choose your closest friends

wisely. Iron sharpens iron. 

Keep company with the wise and you will become wise. If you make friends with stupid

people, you will be ruined. Prov 13:20

I am the type of person who has a lot of questions. I am truly grateful for my husband

Hank as he is so full of wisdom and I love his insight. He always plays the advocate and

sometimes I get upset, so does he, but we learn from each others views and values. We

don’t stay upset long.

We need to focus on our strengths as well as others strengths. Too much time is placed

on weaknesses. Why do we want to place so much emphasis on weakness when we have

so many strengths? I believe one of my strengths is to encourage people and make them

feel safe. One of my weaknesses is organizing my home. Well, I enjoy one and not the

other. I love people but find it difficult to just organize things without shuffling stuff to a

different area. Guess what? Not going to sweat the small stuff. I guarantee you that if

you come to my home you will be welcomed and safe, even if there is stuff on the

counters! Get the picture? So now back to improving ourselves. I will take more time

organizing because that stretches me. Personal growth is something I strive for, in every

area.

Take some time to see what your true strengths are and grow. Remember, when you

make yourself more valuable, you will be more valuable to others.

Oversize Load

On my way home from church I saw a truck with a sign that read “oversize load”.  Thoughts came flooding over me about how many people are carrying an oversize load.   We have so many burdens. They include financial stress, sickness, marriages that are failing, children lost and friendships that are stressful. 

Why are we pulling that truck with all that cargo?

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”  Isaiah 41:10

As we travel through this life here on earth, God promises to hold us up. He promises to hold us up.  He promises to strengthen us and tells us not to be discouraged. We are told that we will have trials and tribulations but to count it as joy. Through these times He strengthens us and then we will be able to bring glory to Him. 

As I take time to just sit in His presence, I feel peace.  I look to the horizon and see so many people hurting, aching.  There are so many just trying to manage day to day stuff. What if we would look to each day as a gift? We wake up to see the light of day as a precious promise from God that He is merciful.

Some days I imagine myself crawling on to the lap of my heavenly father and crying.  His large comforting arms cradle me and holding me tight. I tell Him what I’m feeling and having struggles with.  I imagine Him stroking my forehead and wiping away tears while He’s saying “I love you my daughter. I have got this.  You need not worry but cast your cares and worries on me.” “But Lord”, I say, “There are too many pressures on my life.  I am to be the best wife, best mom, the best mother-in-law, best grandmother, the best sister-in-law, the best friend, the best employee.  I want to speak. I want to write. How can I manage this day to day life?” He says, “I have not asked you to be the best, but to do your best.  And your best with Me in your life will be amazing. Trust me.”

Commit your actions to the Lord and your plans will succeed. Prov 16:3

You see, that oversize load, is nothing to Him.  

I challenge you all to sit and imagine yourself with God in the space you’re in. His overwhelming love desire is SO great. Look to Him as your pilot truck guiding your oversize load to the destination you have envisioned.  

Truth trumps true.

Truth is His word, and His word is the promises you can depend on.

The Unconditional Love of a Parent

It seemed to be a conversation that was needed today. 

Recently I was involved with a community ladies night in town.  I was the guest storyteller for the evening. I was humbled and honoured to speak that night.  My story has been a turning point in my life and needs to be shared. This is a story of hope and restoration.  I praise God for His word and promises. They are always yes and amen. 

God does need us to have our boots to the ground and do the hard work, and it is not always easy.  When we do submit and turn to Him in this process, reconciliation is possible. It takes a heart that is yielding, eyes that see and ears that hear.   When we decide to be obedient to His calling it is pure beauty we see.

My husband and I were talking at the dinner table before eating as we always do.  In our journey of reconciliation, we said that we would always take the time to talk about our day, experiences, feelings and troubles.  We turned our conversation to the Phoebe night where I spoke. I mentioned that my parents didn’t seem interested at all. The tears instantly started to flow down my cheeks.  It hurt. Period. I don’t know if there is ever a time in life where you don’t want your parents to be interested in your life. I am 51 years of age and still seem to need my parent’s approval and support.  Does that ever stop? I mean really?

You may be thinking that I shouldn’t even think that way.  Get over it! Well, for me, it’s not that easy. I will not get into any details, but there is history.  When it comes to times like this, it’s like I crawl back into a little girl’s body and wonder if I will ever be good enough.  Will I ever do anything that makes my mom and dad proud?

I am now a mother and grandmother, and my children are one of my greatest joys.  I have decided through this painful time in life to be the best mom and grandmother I can be.  I have NOT been the best mother in the past and made horrible mistakes. But I am committed to being a mentor and someone who my children can come to.  I want to create a safe environment for them to come home to. They should be able to come to me, talk and vent, with no judgment but to love and guide them the best I know how.  I will always pray for them and love, unconditionally. 

We need to create a space for our children to come and rest.  Our children have great pressure these days and how else will they learn if they cannot come to us and talk.  How many families are taking time for family dinners these days? Are we all just on our phones not paying attention to the conversation?  Is the television on and all attention given to the boob tube? There will be a day when these faces will not be at the table anymore. There will be empty chairs and sadness, maybe a regret or two.  My heart is sad when I type this. I don’t want this for my family at all. I want us to make the best of our time together laughing and talking, maybe even tears.

I challenge you to evaluate your family time.  I challenge you to pray big bold prayers for you and your children. If you aren’t, then who is?  Take the time to tell your children how proud you are of them and how much you love them. Hug them tight today.

I do this as I miss this.

My husband does this as he cannot do this with his parents anymore as they are in heaven.

I pray my children do this with their own.

We need to raise our children in a loving, welcoming safe home.

May God help us!

Community

Traveling through the clouds returning from Mexico I reflect on our week.  There are a lot of thoughts that come to my mind. First is how blessed we truly are to be able to travel and see God’s creation.  The second was to be able to see how other people live in their own countries.  

We stayed at a beautiful resort and we were treated with great respect. The staff was friendly and served us with smiles. We made new friends and talked to others through the week. Now, were the conversations always grateful or full of grumbles?  I would say both. Here we are in paradise and people were finding faults with the resort and the staff. I was a little disappointed.

The one day we set off on an excursion to see the Emerald Waterfalls in the mountains.  We left in the comfort of an air conditioned van. It didn’t take long to hit the small villages in the mountains. The villagers live in very small houses or shacks with little of anything.  

The tour guide proceeded to tell us of the Mexican culture. He mentioned these people may not have much, but their smiles will tell you exactly how happy and content they are.  To them family is everything. When someone passes away in the village people will all come together. They bring whatever they can to comfort and surround them. It may be rice or beans, a kind word, a hug, or just overwhelming love. They help each other in so many ways.  

I was overwhelmed with so many thoughts as we did this tour.  In today’s world we as humans have forgotten what community, true community, is. Yes there are many times when someone is hurting we pull together which is great. But in our day to day travels are we looking for a way to value others?  Are we encouraging people?

The competition to be the biggest, the wealthiest, the furthest, is prevalent.  Are we too busy to take time to help in our own villages? In our own families? As the guide mentioned, family is everything.  Is our family everything to us? Many families I know have strife in the midst. It’s biblical that a house cannot stand with strife in the midst of it.  We need to find peace in our homes. 

I would love to spend time in this culture learning the simple things in life.  They were cooking outside while the laundry is hanging on the line that was just hand washed.  The children were playing outside with a ball or sticks, not electronics. There is no air conditioned homes with Wi-Fi, gaming systems or TV.  They simply spent time together. Everyone was working together.  

When we came through they smiled because they knew were helping them by just being there. The children came to the street and we stopped so they could hand us fruit.  They just smiled and waved as we drove off.

I’m going to sit back now for the rest of the flight and just be grateful.